As we enter November and enter the holiday season, the familiar feelings of gratitude and charity embrace our hearts and minds. Yet despite our feelings of gratitude, this time of year can also stand to remind us of what we lack and wish we had.
It is such a joyous season, offering opportunities for us to outwardly see the goodness that still survives in our local and national communities.
Charitable giving of time, money, household necessities, and even dreamed-of frivolities becomes the usual this time of year. Soup kitchens are blessed with additional supplies and volunteers, efforts to hand out warm winter clothing begin happening all across the country. Nursing homes receive more visitors, fellow shoppers pay for the cart of groceries for the person behind them in line at the grocery store, and people everywhere make an effort to lift others.
Overall, we see an increased willingness for those who have to meet the needs of those who don’t have.
This time of year also offers each of us the chance to look inward at the many blessings we have been given.
For most of us, our list of things to be grateful for is overwhelming.
It truly makes my heart swell when I take the time to contemplate and recognize the blessing shown in all areas of my life. My life experiences, the objects and things I own, and the people I am blessed to share my life with are a demonstration of how fortunate I am.
There are so many people – both contemporary with myself and those who have lived and died before my time – who have lived much harsher lives than I, and their experiences and pain are something I will likely never fully understand.
And like many of you, consideration of those currently living through tragedy or who have previously experienced tragedy -– not broken nail/bad hair day tragedy, but true, heart crushing tragedy — makes my wants and desires seem at times pitiful and selfish.
And in reality, they are.
It is pitiful and selfish of me to look forward to and dream of life in a different home, in a different community, in a better financial circumstance when compared to the nightmare someone else is surely facing.
I feel selfish for wanting more, and yet I find myself holding onto those dreams and trudging forward with aspirations of a better life.
And do you know what? I think that is okay.
We are all at a different level, and all on different journeys. But no matter where you find yourself on your journey, not matter what level you find yourself at either financially or goal ways, it is always okay to dream and to pursue your life in a direction to have more and to be better.
This is a time of year to be thankful and to show gratitude for the many blessings we have all witnessed in our lives.
But that doesn’t mean we should feel selfish or guilty in wishing for more than we have. I believe it is okay to be happy and thankful for what we have, while simultaneously dream for and pursue something better.
People too often focus on one feeling or emotion. But we are not meant to be flat or two-dimensional. Our lives should be lived at the 3-D level, and that includes our ability to feel and handle multiple, various emotions all at once. Emotions of gratitude as well as desires for change; feelings of enjoyment as well as disappointment.
Life is not about the OR, life is about the AND.
We are not selfish just because we want more out of this life. In fact, I think we are courageous for wanting to fight our way toward a better life.
Looking back at the history of Thanksgiving (yes, the story of the Mayflower and Pilgrims), we can’t forget that they too were seeking a better way of life. Their purpose in traveling to this recently discovered continent was to form the life and community that they wanted, specifically in their worship. And in pursuit of their dream, they met hardship but also gave much thanks for the food on their table and help from others.
As the Pilgrims gathered around the food tables during that first season of harvest – the experience that we now celebrate as the First Thanksgiving – I doubt any of them sat there without a dream in their heart for a better life next year.
They had overcome major challenges, and likely wouldn’t have survived without help from others. They felt grateful, I am certain, for their food and the fact that they were still alive and in the condition they were in (it could have been worse). But I doubt the Pilgrims wanted to be exactly where they were at this time next year.
That remembrance of the Pilgrims gives me and comfort in my own desires for a better life.
This Thanksgiving season, I am grateful for so many things. I am grateful that I can wish for more and work toward a better life. And I have no need to feel selfish for that.
