Prior to getting married, I received advice from close friends, family members, neighbors, acquaintances, and even some strangers on how to be successful in that major adventure of sharing my life with someone else.
One token of advice was to “Always say ‘yes’ to someone else cooking.”
Though this advice was targeting eating food prepared by either a spouse, child, friend, or neighbor out of the goodness of their heart, it can be just as applicable to dining out at a restaurant where a backroom cook or chef is being paid to cook your meal.
We all appreciate the respite eating out can be from the time and stress we usually exert in preparing our own meals.
An evening without having to cook is as luxurious as a candle lit bubble bath in my opinion. And not having to do dishes afterward … that’s just a cherry on top.
But just as a candle lit bubble bath should be a special treat, done only every now and then, those of us living on a limited budget should also consider eating out to be a special treat.
And what makes the special treat special?
It’s irregularity.
Taking a candle lit bubble bath often will dry out your skin the same way eating out will dry up your wallet.
…Don’t sink your ship by eating out too frequent.
Dining out regularly can be a great way to bog yourself down financially. Especially if done without consideration to your weekly, monthly, and/or yearly budget (however you plan your finances).
There are certainly times when eating out is appropriate, but don’t sink your ship by eating out too frequent. Or by spending more than you should when you do eat out.
Splurging every now and then on a meal away from home can feel very rewarding and – dare I say – refreshing against the usual fuss and grind of making meals at home.
But such splurges can only feel refreshing if they don’t put you in a bind later on.
Special Occasions
Obvious special occasions such as birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays (ie: Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, etc.) are dates society has determined are not just appropriate opportunities to eat out, but the pressure put on these occasions is almost definite.
We somehow think we have to go out on these dates.
And frequently, that thought of going out escorts the idea of going out somewhere “nice”, which most often means expensive. We fall into the trap of thinking that because it is a special occasion, we have to demonstrate its speciality through our own extravagance.
And that extravagance can be as dramatic on our wallet as the word sounds.
Though there is certainly nothing wrong with going out to dinner on these dates – even to a more expensive restaurant – we should also recognize that there is equally no requirement to do so.
You do NOT have to go out to lunch or dinner to celebrate yourself, significant other, or loved ones.
And unless you have the wiggle room in your budget to go out, you would be best to stay at home, or at the very least settle for a more inexpensive dining option.
Nothing says “I love you” like an overly expensive restaurant bill that you’ll be trying to make up for months.
This seems to be the notion that is pushed by society. And let me tell you — It is absolutely wrong!
Save yourself and your household from future additional stress and keep all meal planning (which includes in-home meal planning as well as out-of-home dining) within your designated budget.
That’s a true “I love you”.
The Not-So-Special Occasions
Grabbing a quick lunch from a sandwich shop or picking up a hot and ready pizza on your way home from work can be so tempting. Especially on our busiest days.
But the harsh reality is that frequent $5, $7, or $12 purchases for lunch or dinner add up in a hurry.
It may look like you are getting a really good deal on that meal – and if you count the price of the food and cost of service, a $12 or even $20 meal isn’t bad.
BUT when that $12 meal gets purchased ten times a month (just 2-3 times a week), that’s $120 a month on only ten meals. OUCH!
I will be the first one to admit that there are times when grabbing a fast lunch option in town is much easier than waiting to get home to eat. Especially with young, hangry tummies in tow. But the occasion and frequency need to be checked if you plan to stay within your designated food budget.
In the end, it really all comes down to priorities.
Is spending money on an easy meal worth the same to you as the car or house you are saving up to buy? Or the family vacation you’ve been looking forward to? Or paying off the debt incurred from buying the car you currently drive or the house you currently live in?
Challenge
If you are in the habit of eating out regularly, I challenge you to stop eating out for just three months. See how much money you saved during that three-month period, and consider whether the “easy” food is worth the cost.
Social Pressures
We talked above about the pressure put on by general society to eat out for special occasions such as birthdays, anniversaries, and certain holidays.
That pressure is kind of overarching across society.
But there are other social pressures to eat out that are perhaps more direct that can seem extremely hard to counter.
That is the social pressure put on by close friends and associates to “go out”.
It’s an old saying that food brings people together, and often we find ourselves faced with the dine-out option as our main opportunity to connect with friends and neighbors, socialize with acquaintances, and at times improve our social standing in whatever community we are hoping to participate in.
Being the lone duck who doesn’t go out for happy hour drinks with their co-workers; or the teammate who doesn’t join in on the celebratory after-game party; or the friend wanting to meet up after an extended disconnect who can’t afford to go for a cup of coffee at the suggested coffee house – it can be, well, lonely.
It can be isolating. At times, even humiliating.
Being the lone duck who doesn’t go out …can be, well, lonely.
I cannot tell you how many times I have sat on the frontline of social expectation contemplating a “let’s go out” invitation. Desperately wanting to make friends or connect with old friends. Yet knowing that I just simply didn’t have the money in my budget to go out (whether to go out at all, or to go out to the particular venue selected by the group).
Taking a rain check (especially if done more than once) can be hard. Really hard. It can be embarrassing, and sometimes doing so will cut you out of certain circles. For me, it seems like a rain check taken more three times in a row often results in no additional invitations.
But the reality is that sometimes saying “no” is simply the responsible thing to do. And that’s that.
Sure, you might still want to go out to dinner. The food would likely be delicious and the social interaction enjoyable.
But if it’s a choice between a few drinks and a meal with friends at a restaurant OR having enough in your bank account at the end of the month to pay all your bills, then you should know what the appropriate response to such invitations should be.
It won’t be easy.
I still find turning down a dinner – either one that costs me money or leaves me indebted to someone else for paying the bill – to be tough. Every time.
But I do it! I decline dine-out invitations when I feel I can’t realistically fit the expense in my very tight budget. Which is often.
And I am a believer that I am doing the right thing. No matter how unpopular saying “no” to eating out makes me look to my social peers.
The Solution
Some might wonder: Then what is the solution? How can I still eat out on my tight financial budget? Does living on a budget mean I can’t have any fun, that I can’t do anything special, or that I can’t hang out with my friends?
Of course not!
Though living on a budget can be hard – even feel borderline suffocating at times – I think it is often our personal perspectives that ultimately make us feel limited.
Yes, living on a budget limits how much money you spend on certain items within a certain timeframe. But that financial limit doesn’t limit our ability to be happy – or rather, it shouldn’t.
There are so many ways to feel joy. And without sounding too much like an inspirational couch, I just want to point out that the opportunity at feeling joy is ultimately at the heart of whatever occasion you might want to attend.
- You want to hang out with friends because you believe spending time with them will make you happy, aka bring you joy
- You want to join your colleagues for happy hour because you believe either that particular occasion will bring you joy or the building-blocks of those relationships will somehow bring you joy either through friendship, workplace recognition, etc.
And the list goes on.
3 Tips to Keep Your Ship Afloat
Ultimately, there are a lot of opportunities for you to still participate in social gathering despite, or maybe even due to, you living on a budget.
Here are three simple solutions to keeping that ship afloat:
#1 Plan for dine out occasions in your budget.
This most obvious solution sounds the simplest. But depending on how tight your budget is, actually finding the wiggle room in your budget for an occasional dine-out expenditure can be frustratingly difficult.
But still plan for it.
The amount doesn’t have to be over-the-top. A few dollars spent here and there can add up, but so can a few dollars saved.
Whether you intend to go out to dinner every month, quarterly, or are determined to not dine out at all – still plan for dine-out occasions because I can almost guarantee they will come along.
A few dollars spent here and there add up, and so can a few dollars saved
If you want to be able to say that magical “yes” word at your next invitation to go out, then plan for it.
#2 Consider alternatives
Options are not limited when it comes to food and experiences. A few alternatives to dining out include :
A. Dine at home — just you
When you can’t afford something, and you are a responsible person who cares about your finances, then the simplest and easiest solution to your issue is to get over your emotions about what you want and do what you can.
That may sound a little like tough love, but there it is.
If you want to go out to dinner, but really can’t afford it, then don’t go out to dinner.
BUT – don’t just stay at home and sulk about your missed opportunity while you consume the same old foods you always prepare. Instead, if you chose to stay at home in order to stay more financially secure then First) Pat yourself on the back and feel like a champion because doing the responsible thing is hard, and you just overcame a strong temptation.
Second) Spice it up!
What do I mean by spice it up!? Just that – spice up your menu.
That doesn’t mean you have to add jalapenos to your meal. But change things up a little.
Consider bringing the restaurant to your home. My three-year-old daughter loves eating at restaurants. She thinks she is just the cat’s meow when she gets so sit at a table with a menu. And that enthusiasm and excitement at eating “out” stays with her for weeks.
When eating out isn’t an option, one of our favorite things to do in our house (especially a favorite for my toddler) is to “play restaurant” at home.
Now this can be as simple or extensive as you want it to be.
Even before my husband and I had any kids, we would try to make Valentine’s Day special by trying to replicate Olive Garden or some other restaurant for dinner at our home. Our replication then was mainly the food. Even if trying for a fancy meal, my lack of enthusiasm for washing dishes using simplified the image. But the additions of a tablecloth, centerpiece, etc. can add elements to your home restaurant.
Whether you choose to use a menu or not, stone dishware or paper, candlelit or otherwise, making your home into a restaurant for an evening can be a fun change up – whether you are three or thirty
B. Dine at home — with friends
One alternative to dining out is to invite your friends, neighbors – whomever it is – into your home to share a meal you prepared. There will be the expense of preparing food for other people, but that expense is almost guaranteed to be lower than eating out where a third party is doing the cooking and having someone else serve.
Consider the purpose and topic of your dinner plans when determining the best alternative.
Do keep in mind that inviting someone into your home is more personal and intimate, which may or may not be appropriate for your situation and relationship with whomever you are dining with.
For example, inviting your supervisor over for a homemade cup of coffee may not be the appropriate relationship for an in-home invitation.
Consider what a meal in your home looks like. If it’s a longtime family friend, inviting them into your home to share dinner with you, your spouse, and children may be perfectly appropriate. If you are meeting with an acquaintance-level co-worker, perhaps bringing them abruptly into your personal life with a home-cooked meal is a little less appropriate.
A home brewed cup of coffee with your supervisor will look quite different than the two of you grabbing a cup of coffee at the shop on the corner. Even though the coffee prepared at home is significantly less expensive, the time and place might not be appropriate for the participants.
Gage your relationship. Consider the purpose and topic of your dinner plans when determining the best alternative.
C. Eat at the more affordable restaurant
This alternative is simple.
If you want to go out to eat, choose a venue that is affordable for your budget.
It’s that simple.
#3 Consider the Menu
There are so many reasons why we want to go out to dinner. Sometimes just the physical break from the kitchen can be hugely beneficial to our mental and emotional health, or perhaps the actual setting of a public dining room is more appropriate than the dining room at home.
Perhaps you are traveling, and eating a hot meal that actually tastes like real food is much more desirable than a cheap (and probably not healthy) frozen dinner cooked in the microwave of your hotel room.
Whatever the reason or reasoning, there are times when eating out at a restaurant or food stand happens. And even with a tight budget, it’s okay.
Eating out isn’t a “no no”. You can still eat food outside of your home even while living on a tight financial budget – you can!
If you are living on a tight financial budget and are making the choice to eat out, just remember to keep an open mind at your menu options.
Now, what do I mean by that?
Well, a couple of things.
First, just always remember that you have options. People are rarely found in a situation where only one food option exists. How many times in your life have you been faced with the situation of: you can eat this food at this location, or you can starve (other than when you were a child living at home and eating what your mother had fixed for dinner was really your only option.)
We almost always have options.
Where you can eat. When you can eat. What you can eat. How much you can eat, etc.
The Where
When living on a budget, the location of your food buying can be critical. This goes for purchasing groceries too, but for now let’s just focus on eating out and purchasing a prepared meal.
Different restaurants and stores boast different price tags. Once you have figured out your budget, then eat at the location that offers food within your arranged budget.
Some meals are more costly than others. Breakfast and lunch menu choices are usually less pricey than the dinner menu.
Where lunch and dinner menus are the same, eating food at “lunchtime” can sometimes be cheaper than ordering the same menu item for dinner.
Happy Hour timeframes can also offer discounted prices on drinks and special food items, but don’t allow yourself to be sucked in to going to certain restaurants frequently just to take advantage of their Happy Hour deals. These deals are a form of marketing just like coupons and sale ads are for grocery stores. Use with caution and occasion.
The When
Sometimes we need to let our budget be our guide…
The What
Some food is more expensive than others. You already know this. Buying a steak dinner will cost more than a chicken breast meal. Buying a steak will also cost more than a hamburger and fries.
Choose carefully what you order. Pay attention to the price list on the menu.
If you are there for the experience, then enjoy the experience. Eating out with friends can be just as enjoyable if you are munching down a burger as it would if you are sawing up a steak.
Sometimes we need to let our budget be our guide over our pallet. Not that we need to sacrifice good senses or good tasting food. And we certainly shouldn’t order food that we know we don’t like simply because it’s cheaper (that’s just silly). But there are times when eating humble is appropriate for a humble budget.
How
Though this point might sound a bit like a healthy eating/portion control tip, it is just as applicable to our purses as it is to our waists. Honestly, I think controlling our waist as well as our purse can go hand-in-hand.
How much we choose to eat at a restaurant effects the bill we receive at the end of our meal.
Some food goes further than others as far as quantity and energy. And some foods are simply more expensive than others, as pointed out previously (see the WHAT section).
Don’t be afraid to be selective when giving your next order.
A massive steak with a side of mashed potatoes, a homemade roll, green salad, cherry pie for dessert, and a large drink on the side might make your mouth water. And I’m sure every bite of that massive steak would be delicious. But sometimes, 12 delicious bites are as good as 30 delicious bites. A more moderate, medium-sized steak with only one side and no dessert might fit more comfortably in your pocket than the large-sized order.
Much
The GIFT CARD: Another great idea for eating out when you really want to, but can’t afford to eat out as often as you would like, is to ask for gift cards. I know a lot of adult parents who struggle knowing what to get their adult children for special occasions, such as birthdays and Christmas). Asking for a gift card to a restaurant is a great way for your parents (or grandparents, aunts/uncles, God-parents – whomever) to feel satisfied that they got you a gift you like and appreciate, while at the same time it helps you have those social or “time out” experiences that you need to feel refreshed and balanced. It is a win-win.
The Reward
If you are reading this article, you probably already have a foundational belief in staying financially responsible.
But even with that foundational belief, it is still hard to see past it all. To see past the image of friends, family, and neighbors going out to eat at places you only wish you could eat at as frequently.
Just remember there is a reward: Financial freedom through financial responsibility.
It’s pretty simple. If you stay within your budget, you will avoid stress by having the money you require for necessary expenses. And by saving money, you will have money to put towards buying something else in the future and keep your ship sailing.
