It is all too easy to get caught up in the fast-paced atmosphere of juggling work, family needs, family fun, community commitments, building up friendships, and still having time to yourself. All too often we find ourselves just going, going, going.
The morning rush of getting ourselves off to work. The kids, if you have them, off to school or daycare. The brisk pace of your workday. Then the hectic juggle of activities in the afternoons and evenings. Not to mention finding time in-between it all to prepare and/or eat food.
Our exhausting, often competitive, routines become a whirlpool of frenzy.
So how do we get out of that? How do we get past the whirlwind and get to a place of calm?
How do we find the simple life??
Without forcing you to read extensive paragraphs and scroll through handfuls of ads in order to get there, let me just share with you right here in the beginning how to have and keep a simple life. The life that so many of us are looking for. A life that is – for the most part – uncomplicated and inexpensive.
A life that is simple and affordable.
The secret: plug your ears.
That’s right. PLUG YOUR EARS!! Ignore what society is screaming at you, telling you the this or that you need to own, the vacations you need to take, the shoes you need to wear. Ignore the television and social media advertisements, trying to make money off you through complicated algorithms that recognize your personality and interests.
We so frequently lie to ourselves claiming that we don’t care what other people do or think. We lie to ourselves telling ourselves, and as a society collectively voicing, that we are individuals who stand out as different from one another.
Yet we all too often funnel into the same person.
The Joneses
We, as a society, often get caught up in comparison traps. We funnel into the notion that we need a new or updated cell phone. A new or updated laptop. A big screen television to watch the latest trending series or films on Netflix, Prime, Hulu, or Disney+Plus. Name brand clothes and shoes. Hair trimmed to the trending styles.
How often do we update our wardrobe because the pants, blouses, and even shoes we have are out-of-date, out of style?
Wearing the old clothes makes us feel like we stand out in the grocery store, so we buy tops and bottoms sewn to the updated fashion. Then 18 months later, we give the clothing stores our business again because our closets busting with clothes have now rippled out of style.
We invest in raging diet plans or exercise regimens to keep up with the latest trends, the latest “science”.
We even go so far in our funneled lifestyles as to make large, expensive purchases that further send us down the drain into becoming the same person as our neighbors.
Aerodynamics in vehicle design has us all driving the same vehicle – barely differing in color and logo placement.
The mid-century adage “keeping up with the Joneses” is a common saying because we see it so frequently. Though starting out as a catch phrase for people motivated to be better financially than others, the reality of keeping up with the Joneses is that people want the appearance of wealth, success, and enjoyment.
And unfortunately, in pursuing that appearance of economic success, we mistakenly believe that if John up the road bought a new boat, RV, or side-by-side, that we have to show everyone else in our community that we are just as “successful” as John. Which we do by purchasing a new boat, RV, or side-by-side too.
Or perhaps we just focus on the fun of it – the fun of riding a new boat up the river or out on the lake; the fun of speeding a side-by-side across the dessert or dusting out mountain roads with a newer ATV. Just like you see John doing.
Do you see it yet?
As much as we may like to tout our individuality, the reality is we often find ourselves seeking opportunities to fit in; searching for ways to blend in with society, not stand out.
That way of thinking – that attempt to stay among the crowd – can be costly not only on our self-esteem and overall health, but certainly on our finances.
Marketing Game
Keeping up isn’t cheap.
That drive to have what he has is subtle and complicated. We rarely say to ourselves we want what Jim and Diane have so that we can appear like them instead of us.
Most of us are too fond of this notion of individuality to outrightly want to disappear.
Instead, the surface motivation is often much less a comparative justification as it is a matter of convenience or security.
We see the convenience or boasted security of the gadgets or neighbors have, and we decide we too want that added convenience or security in our lives as well.
For example:
“Hey, Hon. Did you see the So-And-So’s got a new car? It has all these new safety features and even a back-up camera so you won’t have to screw up your neck backing into the garage every evening. Oh – and get this: it even has driving assist so you can be safer on the road without having to wear yourself out while you drive…AND each seat in the back has it’s own separate movie and audio station, so the kids can each watch the show of their choice while we drive and we don’t have to listen to them argue over the movie.”
Are you seeing it? Are you seeing the trap?
The idea of updating your own daily driver might not immediately be there after seeing and hearing about all the fancy features of your neighbor’s new auto. But give it a couple months. Let that idea just soak right on through.
Afterall, the new model of vehicles they have these days certainly beats your 10 year old model (or older).
And before you know it, you’ve just spent $45K or more on a new(er), updated vehicle. Not because you needed it, but because you saw what other people had — the shiny car, the convenience features, the added security over what you had before, the gadgets — and you wanted that for yourself.
Again, convenience and security.
That’s how marketing works, folks. And the question you need to ask yourself is: Are you simply a target of solid marketing?
Spending isn’t Peaceful
Complicated lives and lifestyles also frequently carry higher price tags. We spend money…and more money…and more money, and in return what do we get? Not peace, not quiet, and usually not a whole lot of happiness.
We live these fast-paced lives – running here and there to see sports events; attend this play or that concert; travel here and there to visit family or purchase something we found online and determined we needed – all so we can tally up with our friends where we’ve been and what we’ve done.
In many ways, we have allowed our lives to become a simple game of Bingo. Anyone got a new vehicle? Family vacation to Hawaii? Who has an ATV? Jet boat, anyone?
…And we’re just marking blocks on our board, trying to keep up.
This. Doesn’t. Bring. Peace.
There are many moments of joy, to be sure. But as a whole, I think most people who spend their lives racing, eventually reach a point of pause, asking what it’s all for – wishing for more basic joy and peace in their lives.
They are missing a feeling of peace in their lives. And no amount of buying anything will bring peace.
Of course, there are certainly times when spending money is unavoidable. And times when a dollar well spent can bring moments of joy or a convenience that can help us find moments of peace.
Spending money isn’t cardinal. In fact, spending money is quite simply a part of life. We eat food, we spend money to buy the food; we live in a house, we spend money in order to live in that house (either via a mortgage or rental payment); we use electricity in our modern house, we pay for that service. And the list goes on. Spending money happens.
And there is no denying the science behind impulse buying and that surge of internal chemical gratification, that adrenaline fun from a shopping spree. But that in-the-moment fun is rarely followed by feelings of peace and contentment.
No amount of buying anything will bring peace.
Peace comes from focusing on living life with other living creatures. Not from spending money or focusing on inanimate things.
Ears Plugged
So ignore what everyone is telling you to do or buy. Ignore all the marketing hurrah, the fashion trends, diets crazes, and buying impulses.
Stop listening to what others say you need. Stop paying attention to what everyone around you has.
Whatever you do, do it for you.
Put those earplugs in and focus on you.
Pay attention to what you want and what you need – really need. And live life from there.
That’s the secret to a simple and inexpensive life.
